I mean, I’m hot, and the pictures I have on my Bumble are all fucking fantastic, so there’s no way every single match was an accident. I know the odds that EVERY man on Bumble accidentally matching with me by accident is extremely low, and I know I’m not actually grotesque. It begs the question: Am I grotesque and every single guy I match with actually isn’t matching with me on purpose? Or is it simply a terrible opening line? And the two that responded were absolute fucking duds of men, so it basically was a 0% success rate. On today’s episode, we attempted to use “Am I allowed to uno reverse card this whole messaging first thing?” In true scientific method fashion, I sent it to every single one of my matches the other night, 12 lucky bachelors and only 2 responded. I hate having to message first, but I also hate the shit that some guys come up with on other dating apps, so Bumble is just this paradox of dating. And unfortunately, I am not any closer to finding us a solution. ![]() ![]() I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect Bumble first response for what feels like forever.
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